If I could behave like my 7 year old and get away with it...

I would. I would eat whatever I wanted and then cry and complain when I couldn't have what I wanted. I would throw fits about not getting to do what I wanted to do. I would scream constantly about how unfair life is.

What's bad, is that this week I wish I could've acted like that...

The good news is that I have survived the week, now comes the unknown and the unknown is what I fear most. My friend, Ellie's former teacher, is not doing well. My heart is broken for her family and her other friends. Ellie isn't handling it well at all.

In trying to be a good parent, I've been talking to her about it and trying to get her to talk about her feelings. I got a book recommended to me by another friend (Thanks, Noelle!) called Heaven is Real for Kids. It's a beautiful book and I do think it brought some comfort to Ellie. She's read it a couple times now and since it is AR test worthy, I'm going to have her test on it. I also bought a card for my friend and Ellie has said that she wants to draw her a picture and write her something. I would like to get this done and in the mail today.

I think what's been really hard for me is that since Tasha has been in the hospital I've felt that she needed to be working on resting/healing/getting better/focusing on treatment, etc. I felt that people who were visiting her should be family and her close friends. I regret that I didn't ask to go see her, but at the time I was worried about those aforementioned items and also working with students I was worried about exposing her to illness. I hate to think that I have missed my chance to see her especially because now really is about family. I'm hoping/praying that I'll be able to see her this weekend. I'm still praying so much for her but I'm praying for her other friends and family too.

It's amazing how dealing with stress/anger/grief/most of the "sad" emotions can make you want to just forget how we're supposed to behave. I am absolutely at the point of stomping my feet, screaming and throwing a fit. I could scream, "Life isn't fair!" And the adult comes back into my head saying, "You're right it isn't." and I take a deep breath, wipe away my tears, and try to focus on the positive. So again, I'm ending this post with things that are positive.

1. My laundry is all put away (well everything that is clean).
2. We're going to the hockey game tonight.
3. We have tickets for the Comets soccer game next Friday.
4. Jake's birthday party. How is it possible that my baby boy turns 4 on Sunday?! That's a whole other post!
5. Hearing my kids play nicely and laugh while waiting a ridiculously long time to pick up the tickets mentioned in #3.
6. My amazing friends who have been my shoulder to cry on during all of this. They have let me cry, scream, rant and rave and during all of it they are understanding and supportive and honestly they're doing the same thing.

I know there are more, but I'm going to stop there. I have dishes to do and a house to clean up for a little guy's birthday party.